I’m back again with another honest, heartfelt post. I just feel as though posts like this are more relatable, and I can get everything out and and feel a little more relieved.
So for anyone who has been to university, it is just a whirlwind of emotions and feelings – well for me it was anyway. I faced feelings and emotions that I had never even felt or knew I could feel. The stress of having multiple assignments in one go, to not having enough money to feeling homesick can really make a person feel low, sad and just not themselves. This is exactly what happened to me (shock). Anyway, post uni I managed to get out of the sad pit. I was back home with food in the fridge, not a worry in the world and back with my friends and family – wahay my skin even cleared up!
SO WHAT AN EARTH IS GOING ON NOW?! I have very swiftly and smoothly found myself back at the sad pit – If you read my previous blog post I mentioned being in limbo and not really knowing what is happening in my life. And recently this has had a huge huge impact on my mental wellbeing, and my general happiness. I have become really isolated, negative and just not a happy person. Which is quite sad for me to admit because I am the complete opposite person to that, and as comfortable as it is to be sad and stay in a sunken place, it comes with no benefits whatsoever.
I’ve decided that I don’t wanna lounge around and pity myself any longer, the only way I can see a change is if I actively make one right? So I’ve decided to start my journey to becoming ‘A Happier, Positive Me’. I’ve realised that I am so hard on myself and I very rarely or never give myself credit, or reflect on any of my accomplishments, which are quite a lot if I must say. I have so much in my life I should be proud and happy about, but again it is just so much easier to focus on the negatives and notice the things that you haven’t achieved.
Okay so enough about me rambling, now for the real stuff. My Journey.
- I am a huge comparison person; I scroll through instagram for hours and hours comparing every inch of my life to people on there. And before I know it I’ve torn my beautiful life to shreds and there’s nothing left of me. My resolution for this awful habit? Get rid. I’ve decided to unfollow accounts which make me feel less, or make me feel like I haven’t achieved enough or whatever. Now this isn’t that persons fault at all, please don’t get me wrong, people can and they should post whatever they like without the fear of ‘upsetting’ people, but it happens, and I think my way of overcoming that is to just get rid. Out of sight out of mind kinda thing. And of course when I’m feeling more positive about myself etc then I can follow those people back, it might sound a little silly to you but it’s working for me so woohoo for me.
- I have just bought myself a 2019 diary (a month late I know, but better late than never)! I chose this specific diary because of the contents inside it. On the left hand side it has the week and on the right hand side it has 3 sections. ‘This week I’m thankful for’, ‘My achievements’ and ‘Next weeks focus’. As mentioned I never ever recognise my achievements or even think about them, but this diary is a great way for me to reflect on my self in a positive light and help me see how bloody great I really am. I think this will be a great way to think of something positive every single day, which I am lacking in my everyday life.
- Self care and esteem books. I haven’t read a book in years. Since I was 18 to be precise, I studied English Literature at A-Level and left the books there aha, but I’m ready to become the book worm that I once was. I’ve never read a self care book before – well I’ve never actually had to, but I guess you get to a point in your life where you just need that little bit more encouragement and motivation to help you excel and to become the best version of yourself. I haven’t started my research yet on the best ones or which ones to start, so if anyone has read this far down into my post please send your recommendations – that would be wonderful.
- Lifestyle change. I’m not a school kid anymore and I’m not a lazy, hungover, uni student either. It’s time to change my lifestyle and be more ‘adult’. Wake up early, make the most out of my day, make money moves (jokes). But no in all seriousness I think changing your lifestyle to a healthier one would probably make a huge impact. As much as I do love my sleep, and anyone who knows me knows that sleep comes first, it’s time to wake up early, put effort into my appearance and start my day on a high. It’s time I get back to the gym and stay there ahaha, i’m sure it would really help with the low feelings and all. And eat a little better, swap some naughty treats for healthier ones and just be a little more careful. Again i’m doing this all for me because I want to and I feel like this will help with my growth.
So those are 4 huge changes that are soon to be taking over my life. I’m not naive in believing it’s going to happen over night or that I wont have any slip ups, because I know I will. I’m human, it’s inevitable! But I believe that I will be able to make some sort of a noticeable change, if not to myself then to others and if one person can notice a change then I have accomplished what I set out to do. I’m so ready for 2019. Here’s to becoming the best version of myself – A happier, positive me.
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